PERMISSION TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF AGAIN
“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life” Muhummad Ali
I’ve seen some posts asking the question ‘how did we meet?’ or as Stormy would say “where do you know me from?”. I thought I would actually take it a step further. Maybe somethings have changed since we met so i’ve decided to take things a step further and re-introduce myself.
I am Oneness. My mission is to inspire women to enhance their lives through sustained alignment with their spirit- even if they are unsure which path to take! This starts with them seeing themselves. Like really seeing themselves. Now i know that this sounds elementary. Like heads, shoulders, knees and toes. We have eyes and we see with them. Oh look there is a mirror. See that person copying everything that you do? That’s you. Class over!
And yes i saw that girl in the mirror and didn’t really like what i saw. Now I understand that it’s because i couldn’t see her properly. There were too many things in the way. I saw all the lies that had ever been told about lil brown girls, I saw all the things that i was every told was wrong with me, I saw shame in having curves and curls. I saw the weariness of my mothers, aunties and sisters. I saw having to work 10 times harder! I saw all of this and I thought that it was me.
I would cry. I would play small. I would hide in plain sight. I would internalise every perceived rejection from the world. At the same time i knew deep deep down inside that I deserved more. That I deserved to smily from my heart. But i couldn’t feel it so I looked outside. Who was actually happy. The pretty girl looked happy. She always smiling in the videos! I’ll try that. Got some make up, heels, garnered some boy attention … still couldn’t feel it. That thing that i was searching for. Ah the joker looks happy. I can do that! I’m funny as hell! but nah. Now everyone is laughing but when the laughter stops i’m still not happy. Ahhhh I’ve got it. The busy girl. Now she looks happy. I can high achieve my way to happiness! Then I’ll feel good. Then I’ll love me. And then when I next look in the mirror I’ll see someone worthy of loving.
But I couldn’t see her. All I could see was that same little girl that wanted to be a bright shining star. There was nowhere left to go so I had to go inside. The pain of not being able to feel what I knew was inside me. What I knew was my birthright became unbearable. And thus the journey inside began. That is where I learnt I couldn’t see me because my vision was clouded by my distorted perception.
What I thought was up was down. What I thought was out was in. What I though was not enough was more than and then some … including me!
Have you seen that quarantine meme? If you can go outside go inside? This is my life. This is what saved my life and connected me to how rich it can be. This practice has shown me how to see my beautiful, brilliant, super-worthy self.
And on days where I forget- when the reflection in the mirror looks anything less than my divine truth. Guess what i do? I go inside. Thats what I did today!
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